ago. I think the fact that he can still talk to you at work is indicative of him being checked out emotionally. He kept stealing glances at me as I moved around, but he didnt say anything. And my heartache seems a little bit intense today. Sure, we fought about doctrine a lot lol, but we connected. OK. His daughter is 5 years old and we have a very close bond. Why Guys Like Being Called Daddy In Bed, According To Experts. Somewhere in me, Im still hoping that he would check my Facebook, see when Im online. My Christian boyfriend who was with me through all of it broke up with me recently a while after I told him I was questioning religion because of everything. In fact, if you have a friend or family member you can pack a suitcase and temporarily live with NOW, please do so. We've been together for a year now. If you've ever had a romance end because of a core belief, spiritual or not, you're going to relate to these women's stories. It seems to me he just doesn't want to commit/take the relationship to the next level and has hanged his hat on the major point of contention. Stupid me! If I just have never opened my mouth, you know. My ex is 31 and a Christian. He is telling you loud and clear that the relationship is over. I was still a Christian back when I started dating my boyfriend, but through these events I saw all these Christians (my mother, my old church leaders, etc) following fear and the crowd instead of standing up to do what is right. He would take me to the doctor, hold my hand, spend the night with me, help me breathe when I felt like I couldn't. Cookie Notice However: You cannot be Buddhist, and practise a theistic religion to its fullest extent, precisely because in Buddhism, the existence of God is not so much disputed, as it is irrelevant. He then said we should break up as he's unhappy and doesnt know if he feels the same about me anymore! 3. I don't know if i should keep talking to you like friends or not talking to you at all." If you had wanted to convert you would have discussed this prior to the breakup during your year relationship. William Gerald "Jerry" Boykin (born April 19, 1948) is a retired American lieutenant general who was the United States Deputy Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence under President George W. Bush from 2002 to 2007. Privacy Policy. It's difficult when you are the one doing the heavy grieving, and the other person has mostly moved on. It won't feel right, but it is right. So I've been doing the NC (or LC) for about a week and a half now. I know this will come across as more of a rant post, so my apologies if that happens, and if I ramble, I will try my best not to! Everyone farts! That said, I don't agree with his train of thought. That's pretty much an automatic no-go for me. I can't even imagine. It's really hard because aside from this, we both agree that the relationship was perfect, and we are extremely compatible. Faith is a central part of his identity and it's important his partner shares that value. 3 comments. I also talked to my therapist yesterday, she advised it's a good idea for me to come say goodbye to his daughter. And I ask him to make the decision. Wait for him around, prove to him that I truly believe in God and wait for him to make the decision that I'm worthy enough to take me back? Reply to discussions and create your own threads. I feel for you because I've been there. I asked what is he expecting me to do? was it just because of work? You will be able to approach getting back together with a clear mind once you release your emotions. I also give him his house key back. You're going to have to make a decision, an act of your will, to turn away from what you know is wrong. Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. For others, it just meant this relationship couldn't go the distance because of cultural or familial expectations. It's a mourning/grieving process. If he stopped talking to you because of that, he's being silly. Your situation is not good. I would take at least a year. Time to get a new job. There's no excuse for this kind of behavior. Sometime later, after I had just returned from a business trip, Alex asked me if we could get back together again. But part of me is still hoping beyond all logical reasons I'm trying to tell myself. Background on our relationship: Throughout our 16 months together we both have been through may life changes. What a total coward!! And he said he can't wholeheartedly believe me and that he's not going out on a limb right now to save our relationship. You're not doing it for the true reason of faith. Why ask if I'm ok? Last Wednesday when I went over to his house to say goodbye to his daughter, I didn't even speak a word to him. I assume your HR department was OK with your dating, so maybe they would assist you here? And he said "we can still talk like normal, just can't have the intimacy relationship. It was home to me. And he doesn't want me to convert because he doesn't want that to be on him, he's afraid that i would change my mind later down the road or resent him because of it. We're in the same department. Not judging you, I had my ex and friend of 15 years lie to me, and then rip me to shreds when I brought it up. I tried to tell myself not get my hope up, thinking that he cares. I even offered to convert but he said I have to do that on my own, not because of him. According to Billboard, Brown is one of the most successful R&B singers of his generation, having often been referred to by many contemporaries as the "King of R&B". Otherwise, any contact just breaks your heart and makes you relive the breakup over and over again. and our Ones religious beliefs are personal and no one has the right to call you out on it and force you to changes your beliefs. He just doesn't seem like he cares at all. Confusingly, it probably is a mix of both these things. [1] Make it clear you just want some closure. After that, I got up and started moving my stuff out of his house while he sat motionless on the couch. You'll see him at work, but you don't have to socialize. But i still have to see him everyday. I guess better now than in 3 years (I've read some pretty sad posts on this topic). For now, remain cordial but distant. It's great. It sounds so much like Im begging. what's he going to tell them? When he started dating you, he obviously thought a) that he could spiritually / emotionally / intellectually accept your religious differences and b) that even if he'd PREFER a Christian partner, his vision of what a relationship could be with you made him feel it was worth a shot at overriding some of his core values. Still, that's only . That means from a mental, obvious, and circumstantial standpoint, the girl is at the disadvantage. I've had a few friends who have converted because they met and fell in love with a person of a different faith (christian to jewish, christian to hindu, muslim to christian). I'm so sorry. Whatever you say though, don't throw off on her father. There has to be a solution; it's not in anyone's interest for you to struggle at work, and HR will keep it in confidence. I doubt his true motivation for ending your relationship was solely bc of religious differences. 6: You Stopped Dating Her Like Your Girlfriend. This means that your ex-boyfriend could still have some feelings left for you (especially if he forced himself to break up with you). He has a young daughter and he's thinking about her too. If you work directly together then obviously you have to speak. He doesnt want his kids to be confused. And he may be right. I don't think him ending the relationship was solely about your different religions. He was an amazing boyfriend. However, I know myself well enough to be honest that the friction our different beliefs would cause would eventually lead us to be broken up because of religion. It was so heart breaking. In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy back but the guy is the one who pulled away. But on the other hand, what if it becomes not a deal breaker to him, or what if I become religious? I'm over here, broken, sad, grieving and he just doesn't show a tiny bit of emotion. So after I gave him a day to think about it, he came back and told me he hasnt been able to come up with any other decisions, so this is the end. Thank you for writing to share your decision to break up with your unbelieving boyfriend in a way that won't turn him off to God. Dont know why Im still trying to defend him, maybe if I keep telling myself thats how hes dealing with it, it would hurt me less. The breakup that inspired me to start Men's Breakup was caused in part, because I stopped focusing on the fun. He was raised Christian, not as fundamental as me, started going to church with me and getting involved in my teeny church because he was into me. I know that feeling well, and, yes, I was angry about that for some time. I guess I did ramble, so sorry this is so long! He was looking for an excuse to end it and found the perfect one. But even if that's the case, you shouldn't beg and plead with him for another chance. 3. Don't discuss personal matters at work. But he came back telling me that it wont work even if I do that. Tell her that she's special and will always have a special place in your heart. Keep all conversation 100% business. I want to block him on Facebook but I havent found the courage to do it. All Activity; Home ; Forums ; Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping ; Breaks and Breaking Up ; He broke up with me because I'm not a Christian. Do not make eye contact. TaraMaiden mentioned the NC Guide in her link that tells you how to deal with an ex at work. Help! We'll provide details on why we chose these brands as we proceed: 1. The majority of Christians in my life, I loved them, but their twisted version of love has caused so much hurt in my life since my childhood. He lived 2 hours away from me so when his lease was up he moved in with me for a few months to have a start with me here in my city. When we first met he lost his job. He had every opportunity to change his mind and ask you to stay but he didn't. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I told her "Daddy didn't do anything wrong baby, it just didn't work out" And then there are lots of hugs and kisses and "I love you" between me and her. Hiding behind the "God told me" crap just makes me sick. I don't think children should be baptised, or committed to ANY religion at all, until such a time as they can make up their own minds. By Im still trying to make excuse for him though. Let's start with a brief overview of the brands we chose. I started going to church occasionally anyway before I start dating him a while back even though it wasn't my religion. After careful consideration, I have made the decision to convert. He helped me get everything out of my parents house when they weren't home and we had both left that church together. I'm trying to get advice on how to cope with the loss of him, loss of family, loss of old friends, and feelings of deep rejection and guilt. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding. If you're really sincere about becoming a Christian, then you would be better off going to another church. For more information, please see our So today I went to his house to pick up some stuff and he has his Facebook message open. He said it was the hardest thing he's ever done. Of course I cried, and he cried too. And I already signed the lease for an apartment, going to move out this week. Finally, after about 2 hours, I kissed him one last time and said my goodbye. It's important for people to be respectful of one another's identity in a relationship, and if he cannot see past whatever he has been led to think about bisexual people for the sake of loving you, then he doesn't deserve all the kindness and thoughtfulness you offer him. I would read that and apply it immediately. My hope up, thinking that he can still talk to you at all ''! 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